Sunday, March 7, 2010
The only thing that defines me, is her. Not in that I wouldn’t know who I am bereaved of her presence, however it’s in her eyes that I can see my purpose, I can understand the reasoning for what it is I’m supposed to do. Her words, her care, as long as I can look at myself in the mirror and know that I have some aid in helping her, I can sleep comfortably at night.
Would I be doughty enough to ensure her safety? The entire situation left me bereft of all emotion. Drained completely of trying in general… from trying to be social, to just trying to get out of bed in the morning, none of it made any difference—there was nothing left and I wouldn’t know how to rebuild if I tried. Time has become a formidable foe, as I know it’s no longer on my side; yes young I may be, but I thought I had more time with her, and it’s the unfortunate reality of the situation to see that slowly slipping away, and far from sight.
I have no inclination as to what I’m supposed to do, and that quite frankly is saddening. How is a person able to lose all focus when they are left by only one? It’s not like the world abandoned me, but it might as well have.