Monday, June 14, 2010
It was to be his time of recovery, his time to move on and move passed it all, to grow strong, to wise up and realize the faults present in his current state of thought—but how could he fault himself for his actions? It’s hard to break bad habits with a sentimental heart, and she amongst all of his vices was the strongest and most dangerous aspect of his life. So many times before she had only wanted to say goodbye and let go, but he gave her such a fight, and so many reasons to stay, none of which were really her reasons, he was just convincing enough.
In her eyes he could see through to her heart, and in that heart he could see salvation for her, he could see the vast potential that stemmed further beyond her comprehension, a fact that she had blinded herself too, through years of relentless self-torment. Better than most he had known that sometimes people just need a hand, they just need a kind caring heart to pull them through to the other side, and for her, he was more than willing to be that person, but unfortunately she neither wanted nor could she recognize the state she was in. Content on the path that she was on, she wasn’t going to change for anyone let alone him. A fact he would do well to acknowledge and accept.
He would spend his days trying to fight off the urge to call her, to apologize for… well for anything, and everything, as long as it brought her back to him. Remembering the pain she caused not only to him, but to herself he was able to convince himself otherwise every time, avoiding what would inevitably be yet another mistake… at least for the moment.