Friday, July 3, 2009
Soldier’s Grin
Travis- Do you think that this has been for the best?
Chris- How can you ask me that? How can you stand there, and look at me, seeing full well the pain and anguish that I can’t fight back… It’s what spills over, man, what you see that is. So no I don’t think this has been for the best. But what can I say? What can I do? I fucked up, and yeah I understand that, but this is the vicious fucking circle that always transpires, and I’m through with it, you know? I’m tired, and I don’t know what I can do. I want it to be done, but at the same time there’s something that I can’t let go of, and I don’t know why. I feel like I’m holding on to a lost cause, and quite frankly that could be it, but anytime I think of just stopping, just cutting whatever that last tie is, I get scared, because that is the only thing that ever really felt real to me…
There’s a long pause between the two of them. Travis takes a drag of his cigarette, and he can see his friend on the edge of tears, he doesn’t know whether he should try and console him, or what. He’s been in the same position, so it’s not as if there’s a lack of sympathy, but sometimes people just need to be told to stop, however this wasn’t one of those times.
Chris goes to sit down in the chair next to Travis. Travis turns around and takes a look towards the night sky. A few seconds go by, and he turns to his friend, and gives him a slight smile.
Travis- You know, I loved this girl once… Sarah. Man I’ll tell you she was something exceptional, your quintessential sweetheart if you will. Well she and I had this… thing, I guess is the best way to explain it; it was never anything serious, nor was it really a relationship, but it was something. We’d talk all the time, phone calls, e-mails, everything. One day that just stopped. I was crushed, I didn’t want to move, everything hurt; but you want to know the only good thing about that? That pain, that feeling of not wanting to make up—one day it clicks… That feeling consumes you, and you realize once you’re passed the bullshit, once you stop feeling hurt, and you stop feeling numb, you realize that too feel anything with that much passion is more than most people in this fucking world will ever get. It may not be your pot of gold, but this… this whole situation… I can tell you that it’s evident, you felt something strong, you felt something real, hell it may have been something just that goddamn pure to you, and no matter what no one can take that away from you.
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